Father Francois Delaplace, the founder of the Servants of the Holy Heart of Mary, was born into a family that was torn by death and by a special needs child. Father Francois’s father died when he was only 10. In France, as in any country, losing a father, husband, provider for the family, the one who protected the family in large part from the perils of society, was certainly a great hardship. In addition, Father Francois’s sister, Josephine, was a special needs child. So, in essence, Father Francois and his mother grew up in a family that was far from usual, far from safe, far from easy.
I have often wondered, “Is that why Father Francois wanted our Charism to contain the Family Spirit, Family Love?” Of the three Charisms – Gifts of the Holy Spirit given to our Congregation-Family Spirit is the most unique. I am sure that all religious congregations live the spiritual gift of Faith and of Self-Giving. But I have not heard of another congregation whose Charism contained the Family spirit.
What do I mean by Family Spirit? Father Delaplace speaks of it as Family Love. He says that Family Love is nourished by liturgical prayer, especially the Eucharist. Growth in authentic communion of life with one another enables us to become a sign of the creative presence of God in the world.
“Growth in authentic communion of life with one another” I think, is the essence of Family Love, Family Spirit. The People of God that we minister to and with would speak of this as the Charism they have witnessed and recognize. We live out a “Oneness” of Spirit, of Presence. Father Delaplace, I think, would have called it “respect for one another”.
I am the 11th of thirteen children. I have nine brothers and 3 sisters. My oldest sister died when she was only 7 years old, so I never knew her except for the stories told of her. As with all large families there really are several smaller family units within the large family. I grew up with 4 brothers. They are the family of my memories. Even among the five, my immediate family was 3, myself and my two younger brothers.
We grew up on a farm. When one grows up in a large family, and on a farm, the family unit becomes the primary source of one’s social and emotional life. When one grows up at the “tail end” of the family with many married brothers and sisters, the broader family is a source of extended love. Memories. I grew up in a small town (Beaverville) and at that time of growing up, we had two Sunday Masses, one at 8 and one at 10. For whatever reason, we always went to the 10:00 Mass. After Mass there was the weekly trip to another small town (Papineau) where there was a place that had freezer lockers where people kept their frozen meat. Our trip every Sunday was to get enough of the frozen meat for the coming week. Along with that, we always got an ice-cream cone.
Driving home then consisted of wondering who would be waiting for us at home. Which of my married brothers and sisters would be there waiting to spend the day with us? However, they managed it. It was rare that all 6 of the married group came on the same Sunday. The adults visited, the children baby sat for the new family members and helped in any way that they were told.
That is my memory of Family and the Family Love and Family Spirit. When I felt called to religious life, I knew that I would have to say goodbye to all of that. When I entered religious life in 1957, family could only visit once a month for 2 hours. I did not know how I would ever be able to live. But God’s gracious Grace and my wonderful family helped. Mom and Dad and one of the family or several of the family members came every month for the three years that I was in formation.
Here is one story of that time. After every visit I would find some place away from everyone and cry and try to let them go again. One Sunday, my dad took me away from the rest of the family and said, “If you’re not happy, come home” and I replied as I’m crying, “But I am happy”. God eventually worked it out. One Sunday, in January, the roads were just too overrun with snow and ice for anyone to be able to come to visit. I remember I locked myself in a bathroom and cried and cried but finally surrendered my family to God. From that time on God’s grace healed the brokenhearted and transformed Family Love into a Love that could be present without presence.
Did I know at the time of my entering that Family Love- Family Spirit was one of the Charisms of the Servants of the Holy Heart of Mary? No, I did not. How did it happen that someone (me) would need to enter a religious order that understood and lived Family Spirit and find the group? It was God’s guidance and direction, love, and Presence.
The Servants of the Holy Heart of Mary live out their Family Love, Family Spirit. There is a oneness in the Oneness of God. There is Communion in the Communion of God. There is a sense of being Home.
Simple Gifts 
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